You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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