at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
