I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
