So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
