so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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