Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
