I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
