dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize