Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize