we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He shit in the fireplace
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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