Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
