best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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