you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
