You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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