And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
