how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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