I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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