btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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