i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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