bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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