In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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