Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
