You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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