I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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