uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
