Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
