I didn't shave. On purpose
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
