I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She said her name was "party"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
