So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize