pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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