I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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