Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
