is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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