a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
