so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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