Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
