went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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