We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
