First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
