She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
