I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She announced her abortion via fbk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
