her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
