32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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