I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pants are for mortals
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
