She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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