I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
