Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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