if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
