I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
