How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
