I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
