ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
