he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
