I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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