would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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