A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
