Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
