wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
where does the pee come out of this thing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
