Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
