S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am available for nakedness
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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