Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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