He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
