At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mom said you looked used
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
