did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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