Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
